When the cup gets full
I always give coffee cup analogy to convey others that I am overwhelmed with current set of things for both big and small streams in personal and professional life.
For me big streams are life events that have turn around time of months to years – a new challenge in career, moving to a new city, getting into a relationship or getting out of it.
Small streams could be the sub-streams of the big streams – multiple hats that I need to wear in my role, dedicating time for parents or making friends in a new city or figuring out the support system there, fixing a rough patch in the relationship by focussing more time and energy there.
A while back I realised I assume that I have only one huge cup that takes in all the streams (of the metaphorical coffee). I get overwhelmed when the cup gets full. The more streams are poured into the cup, the more I struggle as the cup is already overflowing.
I wouldn't say I completely avoid the other streams when my cup is full but switching attention to the other streams is like emptying this huge cup and then letting more coffee flow in, it consumes my energy more than I would like.
I have been getting over the overwhelming feeling by imagining having different cups for different streams. This perspective helps me realise I need to prioritise and focus my energy on one thing over the other depending on where my energy is required. It's okay to let other cups overflow while I am directing my attention to the cup which is critical. I don't have to go through the process of emptying the one big cup anymore, I just need to switch to a different cup to consume from.
My work needs more attention, I need to delegate stressful home decisions to someone else or these decisions can wait.
My social cup is already full I can't give into the peer pressure of being part of my friend's plan.
My partner is going through something, I need to spend more time with her and prioritise the relationship over this business trip.
I haven't been in touch with my friends, the low priority work can wait while I plan a day outing with them.
While this may look normal to people who deal with multiple priorities in life, personally for me, this change in perspective helps. You have multiple cups to drink your coffee from, it's okay to let other cups overflow and direct your attention to the cups that need you. It's upto you to how you handle the feeling – when the cup gets full.